But that’s not the point here, the one thing I realized from the story (though it’s a view that’s quite unpopular with my fellow movie junkie friends) is that cheating comes in very many and different ways. The turning point, where things began to go awry for Mia and Sebastian’s relationship (the main characters for those who haven’t seen it) was when he cheated on their dream.
Okay, they both were miserable in their respective careers and lives in a way, till they met, fell in love and sort of made a pact to achieve their dreams together, but Sebastian cheated on this pact (yes he did) by steering away from their dreams. Achieving the dream was hard so he deviated, took an easier route and thus began their spiral to break up (if this still sounds like gibberish, do watch the movie. Minus the ‘yama-yama’ ending, it was really good).
CHEATING COULD BE:
Being sexually unfaithful
Depriving your partner of something valuable to him or her by deceit, fraud or some other means
Leading them on by deceit, tricks or artifice
Violating your relationship ‘rules’ dishonestly in any way
I bet some of y’all only think about the first kind, but yes the others are also cheating, just in a different form.
While doing some research a while ago I came across a scholarly article on cheating, with empirical statistical analysis of an American university reporting that on the average, women cheat twice as much as men. I was very surprised but further appraisal of the article proved that it was properly done and when I thought about it a little bit more I realized that it’s true.
Though women are mostly the more sensitive sex, they are also stronger (guys, argue or disagree about that all you want still doesn’t change the fact that its true). I did a little research of my own and discovered that the reasons mostly are:
NON-SATISFACTION: It could be sexual, financial or even emotional. Whatever form it takes non-satisfaction though could be endured for a while, in the long run always causes the said unsatisfied partner to seek such satisfaction elsewhere. It’s like eating a single cookie to satisfy your hunger or taking a sip of water to quench your thirst, though you might hold on a little longer but you would eventually go looking for some more/other meal or drink to meet your needs. In this case I recommend dialogue with your partner, it might sound cliche but it’s a tested and trusted means. With this, both parties can understand what the other needs and seek ways to fill those needs.
BEHAVIORAL: In this case, the cheating party has some inner flaw that makes it absolutely impossible to remain faithful, forget the whole Yoruba or whatever demon-ish it is usually psychological (have you seen the movie Addicted? Lol I’m such a movie junkie, but it would help you understand this better) and would of course require that you dialogue with your partner and possible options of going to therapy with or perhaps without their support. This would help identify the root cause of this pattern, whatever it is and when this has been done; it is well on its way to being resolved.
That’s it, you were probably expecting more but for now these two nuggets stand-out, who knows we could explore some more at other time.
The thing about cheating either as the guilty party or the victim is that it’s incredibly unhealthy for your emotional and thus mental health.
If you cheat due to non-satisfaction, it leads bit by bit to a behavioral and a regular pattern and there is absolutely no way a good mental or emotional health is achieved in this situation, both for you and your partner.
So guys, choose the healthier lifestyle today, do not cheat if you’ve been considering it latehly, Pause; then try “Dialogue and Communication” with your partner, getting a little extra help from a trained relationship or psychological expert party wouldn’t hurt.