Unfortunately her eyes and legs surrendered to what the heart was trying to get away from and she got down on her knees as tears ran down her normally bubbly cheeks in an undefined sequence whereas her legs were still shaking down on the ground. She let out a big cry, a cry of hopelessness.

Looking back at all the things that had happened in the past, there is nothing that could have given her signs of David being a monster! To her he was in fact the prince charming she had been waiting for all her life. They had an amazing connection and their fights were those pretty little fights that sometimes they laughed it out almost immediately. David was the Hero who brought back love and hope back into her life when she had given up on it. The promises of a happy ever after were also something she held onto dearly, just as a child waits upon the promises of the parent to protect and care for them. They had a tough time these few months but she knew they would get over all the difficulties stronger, what she didn’t know was that the one she adored so much was having plans of secretly hurting her as if he had not known her past that he swore never to put her through.

There she was, down on the ground weeping and trying to find a reason of being strong; The moon was bright and the sky was clear, but due to her already wet eyes all seemed blurry. She could hear David on the other side of the phone calling her name but she was too weak to even respond. With the little strength she had, she picked herself up and walked into her house. No sooner had she managed to get over her hysterical crying than she received a message from David saying he has another fiancé in South Africa and if she wants she can walk out of the relationship. At this point the pain was too much but she couldn’t feel it her body and inner being had grown numb to whatever he was doing to her. She wiped her last tear drops and vowed to make it better for herself; this was a recap of Games Men Play; a TV series she loved to watch!

It was in that moment that she decided to fight for herself as she was the only person who was going to make this right and write the story of her life. ‘When things fall apart they surely make a lot of noise!”She thought to herself as she played her favorite gospel artiste Sinach’s song Way Maker.

She decided that she was not only going to ensure she feels the pain for a maximum of 3-days but also learn how to control her mind from taking her there, or if it were that the mind wanted to go back, she would create a beautiful memory out of  the place of pain;This was when she remembered the story of the Master who had an apprentice that liked to complain, so one day the master asked him to take a handful of salt and place in a glass then drink it, the apprentice spit it saying it was bitter; He then took him to a nearby lake and asked him to place the same amount of salt in the lake and drink it; the apprentice said it was fresh. It was then that the master explained that life can sometimes be unfair, but it is the way you deal with what you are dealt with that matters; when in pain, it is best to become a lake so that the pain dissolves in the large amount of water. One needs to keep dancing and enlarge the sense of things; we can’t by-pass the experience of life!

She knew she was going to be a single mother and she wanted to keep it true before herself; For her to do this she needed the courage to ask for advice from those who had gone through such experiences before and also read encouraging books or talk shows that brought positivity in her inner being such as OWN Super Soul Sundays. Secondly she needed the Depth to receive what she would get out of the journey. Most people ask for things that they can’t handle and once they receive it, the experience can become traumatic, so she opened her inner being to the fact that some days will be tough in her experience whereas there are days she will be triumphant!

Her focus was not in trying to get David back, her focus was in becoming the woman she was and let life unfold out of her. As a famous Japanese writer Cocai wrote, the first word A blossoms into all others and each of them is true. What he meant was that if you pay attention to what the universe is telling you then you will be able to connect the dots of every experience in your life.

The sad truth is that we become so engaged in the encounters of life and the noises of the world tend to cause confusion in our inner-beings that we forget to listen to what our instinct is telling us.

For Cindy, the handwriting was on the wall a long time ago, but she refused to pay attention to what the universe was telling her. David was a cheat, pathological liar and a batterer! She had walked into him entertaining other women severally. To an extent of locking her in a room so that he could have sex with a female whom he claimed to be a friend.

The sound of the other woman moaning under her ‘supposed lover’ on the eve of his birthday was something that still pierces her heart and makes it bleed.

Her family and friends had warned her about him, they could not place their fingers on why a beautiful and intelligent young lady like her would go through all the drama with such a man all in the name of love.

For Cindy the journey she was going to encounter was going to be quite interesting, she was going to let what the heartbreak opened in her be a beautiful thing, by being the best version on herself. The words of Mark Nepo,an award winning poet came across her,” Every soul in life will face a life threatening threshold that will keep changing who we are for the rest of the life. For some people it will be death of a loved one or the loss of a loved one. These wounds can turn us into so many things such as an angry person, bitter, lonely or one who has trust issues. It is what we allow them to open that matters and for a minority the turnaround becomes fruitful! “

As she covered herself in bed having swollen eyes and a major headache, she vowed to be the 1% that will turn this experience for her good. She was going to drop herself in the depth of life by making herself authentic and in touch with life and radiating energy that will attract true and genuine love one day.

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Daisy Wanzala

The new African woman taking her seat at the global table,redefining writing in the digital age,whilst creating social impact as a youth leader!